This blog is different. If you are expecting me to say silly things about uneventful topics, prepare yourself. Those of the male gender will probably like this article the least. However, I feel the need to write about something more thought provoked every now and then. I'll try not to get too "Carrie Bradshaw" on you, but no promises. Here goes...
A strong statement, first uttered hundreds of years ago, has been repeated and dissected more times than anyone can count. Are all things fair in love and war? Or, is the truth, that love and war are one in the same? There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. That is why fairy tales exist. Someone told a story to a cheeky little girl, to put her to sleep at night, long ago. Some story of romance and perfection, to make her head clouded with the thoughts of her Prince Charming to come in the future. What became of that little girl? Was she the first playwright for romantic comedies? Okay, most of us know that the first playwright for a romantic comedy was a man, and his stage actors were all male. Either way, I consider romantic comedies and fairy tales to be one in the same. They each lead the reader, listener, or audience to believe that there is a perfect match for every person. Are these stories fiction or non-fiction?
If age adds wisdom then I believe I am learning. Though I have never been a hopeless romantic, alas a serial crusher, I might have told you at one point in time in my life that I believed in a perfect match or a soul mate. My thoughts now, however, are quite different. The probabilities of finding the perfect person for you, with an estimated near 7 billion occupants on this colorful planet, are simply ridiculous. Does that mean that each person cannot find someone with which they can spend happily ever after? Of course not! We are supposed to be able to find our "counter part in another." (I laughed whilst typing that last part.)
The question posed from watching countless, far fetched, chick flicks is how long is the right amount of time to fall in love? Is it one year? Is it 6 months? If you google "how long does it take to fall in love," the answers are all completely different. I read a message board, written by all women of course, and some of the answers were laughable. My favorite was, "I knew within moments of meeting him." REALLY??? You knew in MOMENTS? I find that hard to believe. I have been in love. More than once, even. None of my relationships have led me to believe I was in love with someone in moments though. Call me cynical but that seems like something a really naive, unexperienced person would say. Who knows though?
How far would you be willing to go to chance it? The chance of having a connection with someone that led to you growing old together. Would you move across the country multiple times? Would you sabotage a friendship with someone over the chance that maybe there is something there with someone? Wouldn't a real friend want you to be happy anyway? Would you go against your friends and family in order to pursue happiness? Or how about posting an online dating profile, hoping that your friends don't see, but that a fantastic stranger does? The times are changing. Your parents aren't generally going to match you up with someone like the olden days. You aren't trading livestock or a family name. You are looking for happiness... to not end up alone.
Some people rush things. Some people are so scared to settle down that they never do and ruin any chance of a stable, happy relationship. Some couples enter a relationship and are so scared to exit it, even if they know it won't work in the future, that they stay out of fear. Some settle. Some people, and here is the kicker, never find someone with which they are compatible. I am afraid of that. I am afraid of not finding someone, eventually. I am somewhere in the midst of all of this. My friends are all getting married and settling down. I have learned not to rush things, out of previous experience, so I find myself single and debating. Have I met the man that I will one day marry? I cannot say yes, for certain. Will I fight for it when it comes along? You bet your ass I will. Other than betraying family and people I consider true friends, there isn't much I wouldn't do. You live once. I have said it before and I will say it again: take chances. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love again. BUT, if the "real thing" comes along, don't destroy the chance that could be. Take chances, I say! Are all things fair in love/war? I say yes. Do you?
This blog is dedicated to someone about a recent conversation. Hope this helps, mate!
Haha "mate"..... I think I figured out who you wrote this post for, but I could be wrong. Didn't know that you started a blog until today, but it definitely makes sense for you to have yet another creative outlet.
ReplyDeleteAnd this would be from "Cary" who? And my mate is a girl, also my bff. (Mate is short for heterolife mate.)
ReplyDeleteHa, I thought you were writing it for an aussie we both know
ReplyDeleteAh, now I know which Cary this is! And no. This has nothing to do with the Oz kid. I bet if I wrote one about him, it sure would be entertaining!
ReplyDeleteI know that some be pessimistic about it, but I can honestly say that the first time Shon and I spend any sort of quality time together, we were in love. I guess technically it took us weeks to get to that point, but within minutes of it, we were both in love. I can only say that now, because four years later, I am even more in love. Scary as it was to love someone first, learn about them second, the excitement of it all was just as intense.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find what you are looking for, but I find it finds you when you least expect (or sometimes want) it to!
As someone who has debated the same, far too much in recent memory, I agree. I have always been a hopeless romantic; whether I like it or not, but I find my cynicism growing towards the whole idea of true love.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as you said, don't undermine and destroy a beautiful thing that you already have in your life. Sadly, I speak from experience.
To get back into it again is the intimidating step. Of course, then there's the question of damaged goods and something to offer, but that's a different story.
No one likes to hurt, but you'll never know unless you take the chance.
"One's who have loved are the one's who have truly lived."