You've... Got Mail. Part One.

June 18, 2011

First day at sea and I'm already longing for...

Okay I'm kidding. I may talk like a sailor from time to time but I am no seaman, and I surely am not going to write like one. However, these next few posts are going to be entered chronologically as I am entering an epic quest. Though many attempt, few conquer. What magical adventure is this? A journey, be it physical or emotional? Alas, no! I am venturing into the realm of online dating.

Oh, that's right. The social, internet version of coffee shops, bars, high school lunch rooms, nightclubs and where ever else people meet one another. The difference, other than the 3D meeting of the opposite sex, is the ability to "pass" based on qualities or characteristics of he/she. This can be something as simple as opposing religious or political views, or in my case, passing on someone who is obviously a douche bag based on a head shot alone. You are perhaps unaware that I have an ability to view these tools by viewing only a picture or two, but tis true. I have the uncanny capability to do so. (I need no comments from the peanut gallery here, based on my track record. It has improved over the years.)

In order to feel as though I am thoroughly researching this topic, I have registered to the "sample" or "free" versions of some of the major online dating sites this week. I realize that the free version does not sound thorough but you may see why I have yet to pay for one of these, once I continue. I have not decided if I will disclose which sites I am using in my research. I have reasons to withhold such information, such as my personal listing on these sites. This first entry, part one, will give the beginning insight to this interesting process.

First: I set up a personal profile for the website I had heard about the most. This site offers a very basic, user friendly, free edition for those who want to peruse. Though you have to subscribe to access many of the features this website offers, you can view anyone's profile for free. I find this to be helpful because you can see if it is a waste of your time or not. This site allows members to email each other, show their interest, do something similar to a Facebook "poke," and even chat. Most of these are exclusive to the paid edition, of course. Subscriptions are offered for 1-6 month increments, at a painful price of $18.99-$31.99 per month. Hence, why I am a free member. Though I haven't been on this site very long, I would say it may be the only one I would pay to join, if I were going down that road. They offer daily matches, and you can do a search by location or mile radius. NOTE: There are actually some good looking guys on this one. I haven't checked out the ladies side of this, obviously, but I was pleasantly surprised in the man selection. I also have some very good friends who are married and met via this site. Just sayin...

Second: I set up a profile for site #2. Turns out it is owned by site #1, so my registration was nearly completed for me, thanks to auto-fill. This site gives a personality test, and then matches you accordingly. I'm an explorer, if anyone was curious. That's right. Sounds kind of bad-ass doesn't it? That's what I thought. Take that, you "builders." Sheesh. Once again, daily matches, only this site uses first names instead of user names. I'm totally sketched out about using my first name on one of these. My matches, thus far, have left much much more to be desired. Oh, and subscription is as follows: (you may want to sit down, or grab a trash can for this one), $27.00-$50.00 PER MONTH. 

Third: I will say the least about this one because it is my least favorite. I have done the least with my profile on this site and there is an obvious reason for this. My DBag radar went off, pronto. The only pictures I have seen with this one are full on creepers. That is, unless of course, you're totally into middle aged men with long hair and gold chains. I don't know how much subscription is and don't care.

Fourth: I just filled out a forever long questionnaire. One of those that makes you believe that you could really find someone with similar interests. I get to the very end and it says you have to subscribe to see anything else. No matches, no temporary subscription, nothing free, and definitely no passing go. Oh and it's almost $175 for 6 months. Kiss my... well you get the idea.

Fifth: I am relying on my knowledge from other people on this website. You have to pay to join but I hear the reputation precedes itself. I know of a couple that met on this site and have been married for over a year now.  We will see...

That's all you get for now. A novelesque beginning to meeting someone you could potentially see yourself dating for the long haul. Keep in mind that each of these sites let you put in very specific qualities about yourself and who you hope to find. I am VERY picky. This should be interesting. Stay tuned!

P.S. There should be a website for only the weird creepers and people you could meet in a dive bar, separate from the other ones. No, guy in the american flag wife beater, eagle pendant chain, with the long ponytail... I'm glad you're "patriotic" but I'm not interested. Sorry.