My original P.S. from P.H. was my ranting about something that irked me, so this will be a follow-up of sorts. LOTS of irks. Things that get my panties in a wad. Stuff that either annoys me to no end, or makes me want to slap someone. Even if I don't verbalize it, which I generally do, these are the things I am sooooo over. (In absolutely NO particular order.)
1. Ear piercings on guys, particularly white ones. You are not Bon Jovi circa 1994. Even David Beckham looks ridiculous with those pieces of "ice" on his lobes. If he can't pull it off, guy in the armpit of America who is rocking them like he created the look, you sure as hell can't. Instead, you look like a D Bag... (Add flat brimmed hats to that as well.)
2. Use of the terms "winning" or "fail/failing." Are you people so unoriginal that you have to steal the punchline from Charlie Sheen's recent crazy outburst? It was funny for about a week, but even that was pushing it. You may look at it as making fun of a celebrity who appears to have gone off the deep end, but do you have any idea how much money he made off his "meltdown"? MILLIONS. Unless you have millions of dollars, shut up. I'm tired of everything being a "win" or "fail". It's so last month.
3. Feminists. You can vote! We get it already. You Hillary's and Lisa's preach about equality until you're blue in the face. The truth is, the majority of women still need maternity leave at some point. That is the underlying reason why women don't get treated fully equal. Not because men hate us and are afraid that we will steal their jobs. Because we are gonna need time off to pop out babies. We are here to procreate. Learn to deal with it. No one wants to hear you lobby for your vagina. Enough already. Women have it pretty awesome in this country so I'm not sure what it is that you're even yelling about. I'm all for ending violence against women but as for "equal rights in the workplace" and other day to day activities, give it a rest. I know that having a baby is a tough job. However, if I owned a business and there was a woman who was in the first few years of marriage (baby making time) and a man interviewing, and both were fully/equally qualified for the same job, which would I choose? Well, I guess it depends on how hot the guy is. (I kid, I kid.)
4. Toilet paper in the wrong direction. TP OBVIOUSLY needs to come over the top, NOT under the bottom. If you put the toilet paper facing the wrong direction, there is possibility of having all the paper unfold like a Slinky. The male species seem to be the ones who are generally guilty for this violation. Then again, you come across females from time to time who are unaware of their wrong doing. Perhaps a chromosome confusion? While I'm at it, what is with the "man paper"? I get that guys buy man TP but WOMEN??? I am appalled when I potty at a girlfriends house and she has some one-ply rice paper thin piece of crap for me to use. Really? I prefer soft to sandpaper.
5. Incorrect use of grammar and spelling. I have some very intelligent friends who still cannot spell the right form of "there." HOLY 3RD GRADE ENGLISH CLASS. Let us re-cap, shall we? "There" is an answer to the question, where? For instance, Where did you hide your expensive jewelry when your crazy aunt came to visit? Over THERE, under the mattress. Next, "their." This form shows possession. In a sentence? THEIR mother still thinks she looks good in skinny jeans. And, finally, "they're." This means "they are." Example: THEY'RE going to the U2 concert because they have terrible taste in music. Your is a similarly misused word. "Your" means it has singular possession. "YOUR" dad thinks he is a member of the Duke family."You're" means "you are." For instance: "YOU'RE" the one who listens to Michael Bolton when no one is around. You get the idea. I'm just trying to help.
6. Noise makers at the gym. OH MY GOSH. I have yet to hear this commotion from a female, so guys, this is all you. Dear guy in a t-shirt that has been cut to resemble a tank top someone three times your size would wear.... there is absolutely ZERO need for you to make the sounds you do while lifting weights. This one guy at my gym makes these breathing noises while doing EVERYTHING. This includes weights, cardio, and even crunches. I can't decide if he is preparing to teach a lamaze class or if he has terrible asthma. This guy is probably 6'2", and nearing 300lbs. He is very muscular and has his hair in this ridiculous mini-ponytail. Listen, dude, no other guy is making this racket. There is no need for you to do it either. You just sound like a pregnant woman in labor. How is that a good thing?
7. One Uppers. Oh, goodness gracious people. There is not a level to everything. You are not on some verbal mountainous climb. I had a friend who always had to one up me about everything. This may be one of the most annoying things of all time. Sometimes it is smaller, everyday topics. For instance, if I said "it is 75 degrees where I live and so beautiful today," a one upper would say, "it's 80 degrees where I live and I'm heading to the beach." If you don't know what I'm talking about, then good for you. You have had the joys and privilege of not having to deal with these annoying societal skid marks. The worst is if you have bad news and they still feel the need to have worse news. I remember venting to someone at some point about a family member of mine and a huge falling out that we had. Their response (notice how I spelled "their", there, grammatical retards)? Some story about how that particular family member had never been in their life and I should be happy that I was in the position I was in at that time. Seriously? Shut the hell up. One uppers feel the need to try and make everything about them and it pisses me off to no end. I catch myself doing it from time to time. I won't lie. I want to roundhouse kick myself.
8. "Going Green." Hold on, before you start trying to hang me... I mean as a fad. How many of you people seriously care about the environment? Really? That's funny because I remember when this movement somewhat started. When I went through my "hippie phase," years ago, I was all about recycling and doing things for the greater good of the environment. My friends gave me a hard time because I wouldn't get to-go containers from restaurants if they were made from styrofoam. How many of you "yuppie, green activists" refuse to use styrofoam? Any of you? Do you know that it takes more than 5,000 years to bio-degrade? Google the life span of litter. If you don't recycle it, or if it is non-recyclable, you will be surprised to find how long it's gonna stick around. I just don't like that this seems to be a fad. With that being said, I no longer recycle at my house, and I get styrofoam to-go containers. Screw it. I'll start doing it again in 5 years when you people move on to the newest, latest thing. Meanwhile, the only going green I'll be doing is my drinking of green beer on St. Patty's Day.
10. Really fat people in clothes that is obviously far too small for them. I can't tell you how many girls I have seen in the past month who have been in pretty much all spandex type clothes when they shouldn't be. Just because it is physically covering you, doesn't mean we can't tell what is underneath. I am not hating on overweight people. I am friends with some awesome people who are larger.I am just suggesting that these "flaunt it if you think you got it" people buy fitting clothes. I don't want to see a giant guys gut hanging out under his shirt or his plumber crack when he moves forward. Hell, I don't want to see a hot guys butt crack. Cover it up. We, being people with eyesight, are begging you.
Okay, I'm sure some of you are laughing and some of you now hate me. That is the risk I was willing to take in the name of blogging. I really wasn't trying to offend anyone. I do not, in any way think women shouldn't have rights. I just think some of these women take it too far. I do care about the environment. I just don't like people following something just because it seems like the cool thing to do. You should want to take care of this awesome planet, not because the media makes you feel like you should.
P.S. If you like U2, well, I'm sorry you have poor taste in music. :)
That's all for now, read on and comment away, blog readers!!!
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