Robin Hood, government in tights.

Sometimes, I feel the need to write. Like an uncontrollable itch or urge that completely consumes me. It becomes an insatiable desire until I give in, and begin to let my thoughts pour out onto paper, or white board, or my bathroom mirror, or anywhere that temporarily serves as literary relief. Most of the time, these thoughts I have deemed worth writing are lyrics to a song. In my teenage years, maybe poetry. Other times, like now, it is a way for me to get something off my chest so I don't unleash on the next idiot who crosses my path. I am venting. Instead of pen and paper I have chosen my iPhone and this website.  My blog is my microphone, and those who have decided to hear me out, are my congregation.

I am pissed off. Enraged. Annoyed. You get the picture. The problem with an opinionated blog is that I have to be semi-reasonable or people will quit reading my word vomit. With that being said, this will spark an argument or two, I am sure. Maybe I'll even get another person who is incredibly insecure to tell me to off myself; one can only hope.

Can our government really not get it together?! I am not saying I would make an even half way decent president. My current rant is regarding the government implemented system of "rewards" in our country, and I feel like I have a few friends who could fix this ridiculous lack of construction. I am primarily speaking about the "Robin Hood Theory," as I am so naming it. 

You know the story of Robin Hood of Locksley. I prefer the Disney movie version, but to each his own. As you will recall, Robin Hood robbed the rich and gave to the poor. Such a lovable character. However, this is not the era of royalty and peasants. Or, is it? Is our government not pulling a "Robin Hood" on us? Are they not, sans green tights, taking from the wealthy and giving to the poor? I have a few friends who work very hard and make a lot of money. If you saw how much they pay in taxes, you would probably throw up in your mouth. It's disgusting.

I just left the grocery store. I recently moved, again, across town to an area full of diversity. It's one of those transitional areas. I moved to the hood, people, lets not sugar coat. People walk past my house with 40's and shopping carts. I can't make this stuff up. Anyway, there's actually a pretty nice grocery store about half a mile away. Due to the area, it has an array of customer types from every walk of life. I was lucky enough to be behind one today who sparked my anger filled word lashing which you are currently enduring.

Before you assume that I'm being racist, I will advise you that she was a Caucasian woman. Probably in her 50's or so, but who could tell with the decades of personal physical neglect? Though she didn't do or say anything to me personally, I watched as she filled the checkout lane with soft drinks, pizzas, ice cream, and other incredibly unhealthy junk. Not only was she the type of woman who is quickly heading for the motorized, Hover Round type shopping cart in her near future, she had a teenager with her as well. As you can imagine, the teenager was far from physically fit.

(Although she was sporting a tshirt with a logo of a well known, expensive outfitter.)

She argues with the cashier about how many soft drinks she was being charged for, and said "I don't want to pay for ones I didn't get." Then, she takes out a government issued card and pays for her groceries. 

Here's my dilemma. I don't think the government should run our lives. Pizza and ice cream isn't that bad. I eat them from time to time. So, why am I so mad? Recent account #2:

My boyfriend was at the store about a week ago. The woman before him in the checkout line was considerably overweight and had nothing but complete crap in her basket. If I remember correctly, she was purchasing things with government aid that aren't even allowed to be purchased on food stamps. How that even works? No idea. The worst part was that she had a very young child with her, who would already be considered obese. I foresee health problems with this lack of personal care. Guess who will pay for their doctor visits? You will.

This is the part where you assume I have some solvent. I have some master plan to fix everything! No, I really don't. I'm just tired of misappropriated tax dollars, as most people currently are. We are under a government shutdown for the first time since 1996. Our country's monetary issues are out of control. I am, in no way, against helping those who are going through rough times. I just hate the abuse. 

My best friend is a psycho therapist. Before she finished grad school, she worked at a non-profit organization who catered to mental illness within inner city children. She has horror stories about women having more children for extra government "aid." People who had no jobs, and weren't actively searching for them, with the newest cell phone and nice cars. It's just frustrating. There are less fortunate people who are trying to better their situations who deserve help and then those who just don't care about anyone else. Are we really just now starting to drug test for welfare?! That makes sense.... Our school teachers and local law enforcement, make less money than most servers and bartenders. Couldn't we shuffle some of that tax money around for things that make sense?

I currently reside in the bustling metropolis of Nashville. I know there are cities who have worse issues with this, but our homeless population is out of control. 

Our city actually has an implemented program which is supposed to help. They allow homeless people to sell newspapers at road crossings, for $1 each, and they are allowed to pocket most of the proceeds. Upon moving to Nashville, I was overwhelmed and saddened. I had a shotgun seat full of unread homeless newspapers. You become quickly hardened, however, when you see about 15 of these people in any given period of driving time. 

Then there are the "cardboard homeless." You know what I mean. And where the hell are they getting these permanent markers and endless sheets of cardboard?! When there are this many homeless people walking the streets downtown, crime escalates. I'm not allowed to walk to my car alone after work, per company rules, and I park about ten feet from our building. Co-workers have been robbed, with the threat of a drawn weapon, whilst trying to go home after a long shift. Societal underwear stains. That's what these people are. Get it together, people.

Is there some way to fix the problem? Can the govt. say what can and cannot be, without depriving us of freedom? Some say we aren't really a free country anyway. I know one thing that seems to be. Government hand outs. Thanks, Robin Hood.

Excuse me sir, this isn't what I ordered.

I'm pretty sure I ordered the white picket fence, perfect lawn, biggish house with a gorgeous spouse who loves me and 2 1/2 children. Oh, and a dog. We wanted a golden retriever. I think you gave me someone else's order. This isn't what I ordered.

The American Dream. "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Wikipedia claims that the American Dream is "a set of ideals in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, and an upward social mobility achieved through hard work."
Oh, I forgot to add that it states this is to take place in the United States. As we grow closer and closer to Socialism, I find this all to be a bunch of horse shit. But, this isn't about politics. This is about your life. Unless of course you are a politician and politics are your life, in which case you should probably quit reading my writings altogether. This is for the rest of us. The average American.
My target audience for this would be anyone between the ages of 18-100. If you're under 18, go be a teenager and quit being a loser who reads a blog from an analytical wanna-be journalist. If you're over 100, just be glad you can still read. Everyone else, carry on...

Is this what you ordered? Did you see yourself living the life you are living right now? I wonder how many people would say yes. How many of you are divorced? Heart broken? Silently resentful towards your significant other because you feel like you have sacrificed so much to be with them? Perpetual bachelor/bachelorette? Career focused (aka single)? Married to someone who you would kill if no one would find out? You get where I'm going with this. 

I hate that divorce is so prevalent in our society. That's because we place absolutely no importance in the sanctity of marriage. We marry young. We marry out of boredom. We marry out of fear. We marry too fast. We marry because that's what we're "supposed" to do. I want to get married eventually, but it scares the living hell out of me.

You didn't see yourself working retail in your late twenties, but you are. You didn't see yourself with more than one cat, but the one needed a friend because IT was lonely (not you?), so now you have how many?? Somehow you managed to end up in a cubicle, in your thirties or forties and it's like Groundhog Day, but on the set of Office Space? You guys got married because it WAS love. You swear it was at some point. Or she was pregnant. That's love. Shotgun love. You didn't see yourself being single in your forties, but you have your success and that counts for something, right? Maybe you should've taken time to consider date-able options? Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. I could create hypothetical scenarios for the rest of the night. I won't.

Side note: You, selfish guy. You, oh one who I have dated who feels like they are really, "too selfish right now to be in a serious relationship." One: I think you'll end up alone and miserable.  Two: I'm glad you called yourself selfish, so I don't have to do so. Three: Just call it commitaphobia like the rest of us semi-sane people. And, four, my favorite: why are every single one of you still texting me?? (Yes, there is a pattern here. I tend to want what I can't have.)

Though this is not specifically aimed at finding your potential mate, it has a starring role in where my end game lies. Someone said something to me recently that I have thought about a lot and couldn't agree with any more than I do. When it comes to someone of the opposite sex, it comes down to chemistry. You either have it or your don't. This is not something you can plan, no matter how hard you try. C'mon, anyone who has dated anyone, ever. You agree, right? How many times have you girls liked some guy and then he goes for the first kiss, and.... really??? I have been all worked up about THAT? Give me a break! I imagine this goes both ways. Surely you guys have kissed a girl for the first time and its like you're kissing Slimer from Ghostbusters, or even like a cold, tight lipped, dead fish? Calm down, PacMan. I thought we were going to kiss a little. I didn't know you were going to eat my face off. Heed my words here... If you find someone who doesn't fit your kissing style, RUN. Run in the opposite direction as fast as possible. It's downhill from there. Obviously chemistry plays more into everything than a high school style make-out session. (If you're in high school and agreeing with me here, seriously, you have no idea what I'm talking about.)

I am notorious for dating paper guys. Ya know, you draw them on paper, and then cut them out.... No. Obviously not. Though I just made that term up, you will know exactly what I mean. I date guys who look great on paper. Guys you take home to momma. They are career successful. They are very attractive. They have nice houses, vehicles, blah blah blah. I'm serious. Veterinarian, Engineer, Major League Baseball Player, Doctor... I'm a snob.
The problem with paper is that it is just that. You get it wet, and you can no longer see what it previously had written on it. I also love muscles but you can't date a six pack. (This goes for both muscles and beer. Neither work out. I have tried both.)

So, am I where I want to be? You bet your ass I am. (Has anyone really ever bet their ass? Where did that saying originate?) I'm figuring it all out. I'm a late twenties bartender. I also only work three days a week and make more money than most people I know who have "real" jobs. With that being said, I am not judging because I am currently interviewing for real jobs. But they are for jobs that would be a ton of fun as well. Refuse to settle. That's where I am. I no longer feel like a timeline is necessary for my life. For so long, I though X+Y would =Z. But I should've known, based on my math skills, that my general math looks more like, X+Y=icecream. Or, any other variable really. I just really want some ice cream. Fro yo. I want some fro yo. Mmm. This may be why my friend calls me the dog from the movie Up. SQUIRREL!!!!

As my math teacher in middle school used to say, "meanwhile, back on the ranch." I realize I am blathering. My point is this: if you are unhappy, do something about it. You're not dead yet, and you only live once. I may not have the greatest job in the world but I have a ton of fun and make decent money. Judge me. I don't give a shit. Most of the people who judge me are just unhappy with their own jobs. Fact.
If you hate your job, find another one!!! The economy is finally crawling out of the toilet and jobs are being opened up, left and right. Fact.
If you are out of shape, do something about it. What is the statistic? It only takes a couple weeks, or something like that, to create a routine. Push-ups before bed never hurt anyone. Another fact. 
Also, I like to make up random facts and claim them to be true. 

I refuse to settle. I don't want a job that just pays the bills. I want to be passionate about what I do! I want to have fun, that way it doesn't seem like work. I want to find a guy who isn't a selfish asshole, which is kind of what I go for most of the time. I kick nice guys to the curb with a quickness. It isn't the best trait. I also tend to like guys who live long distance. Which is awesome if you are a glutton for punishment. Nice because you don't get tired of them, but in the case that you find a pretty great one, you realize that one of you has to move. Enter fear of commitment....
I just know that I want to be healthy, get in great shape, travel, have fun, and enjoy living. If you're not on board, get the hell off the tracks.

Get off your fat, fat, ass.

This could've been about baseball. I could probably write about baseball for a while. I have plenty of thoughts and opinions regarding the subject. Thought about covering the Braun "scandal." Because performance enhancing drugs are so new to professional sports? Puh leeze. (See previous blog about gender testing for my thoughts regarding performance enhancement.) Instead, I'll share what's going on in my glorious life.

As I ingest a protein shake and stare at my workout list, it is no wonder that I have fitness on the brain. As my previous posts have mentioned, I'm into the idea of being in great shape. That was it though. I have been into the IDEA of being in shape for years. I have frequented countless gyms, eaten periodically healthy, and been off and on pleased with the pseudo results. Am I in bad shape? No. I haven't been in bad shape for years. I saw a horrifying picture of myself at one point and realized I will never let myself get in bad shape again. Sometimes, a photo is all it takes. This does not mean, however, that I am in great shape.

I recently had a "real" job. One with my own office, desk, computer, etc. Due to my laziness, I began packing my lunch and internet surfing on my break. This is when I discovered Jamie Eason. Google. She's pretty much amazing. I was already going to a gym a few days a week but I really needed some form of serious motivation. This was it. This woman is ripped, and cute as a button. We all know there are women who lift, who look like dudes who lift. This can often be a common misconception. You don't have to look like Arnold if you lift weights, ladies. Unless you're into that. To each their own.

Due to my new found fitness idol, I began the 12 week program "Livefit Trainer," that she has on bodybuilding.com. I tried to stick to the diet and everything. Notice my use of the letter D. Though I obviously did not stick with the training program, I found myself loving my new "diet." I use quotations because Clean Eating is more of a lifestyle choice than a temporary fix. (I sound like I'm being paid to do marketing, don't I? Feel free to throw your money at me. So far, I'm doing this pro-bono.)

If you are unfamiliar with clean eating, look it up. The basics are switching to foods that are not altered in a factory. God's food, if you will. For instance, my grocery receipt is almost all produce. I also eat complex carbs, and lean protein. (Publix salmon, people. Do it.) Another aspect of clean eating is cutting down on portion size and upping the frequency of food intake. We have all heard that you should eat multiple small meals throughout the day. It's hard, for a female such as myself, to go from eating like two meals a day to a bunch of small ones. 

I was incredibly motivated to work out. That wasn't the problem. I wasn't hungry. I have never been a breakfast person. I like breakfast foods but am NEVER hungry when I wake up. Coffee. Must have coffee. So, I had to start training not only my body but my mind as well. (Why do I keep sounding like a motivational speaker? I guess that is kind of where this is going but I didn't intend to sound like a poster.) 6 small meals a day? I can do this!!! 

Fat, fat cow. That is how I felt for 2 whole weeks. Thank God it was winter and I could wear sweaters to hide the bloat. My body had to readjust to this insanity that I was putting it through. Craziest thing... two weeks later, the bloating went down and I felt amazing!!! I have since continued to eat clean, but fell off the trainer in a month or so. I still use the workouts from time to time but I felt like certain things about the program weren't for me. (Frequency of workouts, protein intake, etc...)

Other factors to include with my mission for muscles: I don't do cardio. Well, not really. I do very light cardio because I have asthma. (Let me just tell you, it ain't easy, being wheezy.) I generally do workouts with dumbbells, cables, body weight, stability ball and other stuff like that. I generally stay away from machines.I would like a rowing machine, if anyone feels like donating one to the cause. I also do not own a scale, nor do I count calories. Both of these things make me more obsessed with numbers and less likely to care about eating right and training hard.
I also have a fitness, um, coach? Okay, maybe not coach, but inspiration. There's a guy I know who is too honest for his own good. Turns out, that though I want to slap him in the mouth sometimes for it, his honesty is awesome for working out. If you can find someone in your life who won't sugar coat shit, keep them around. It's good to hear from time to time. Anyway, this guy will say, "Yeah, I can definitely see a difference! You look great!" But he will also say "Yeah, you're getting there but I feel like you have a ways to go before you reach your goal." And, if I have the guts to ask, he will tell me what I need to work on and even suggest workouts. He asks me at least once a week how my fitness routine is going. I could see where this could be looked at as negatively. Like, what an asshole. But I flippin' love it! Because, guess what? When I feel like I have made progress, guess who is right there to celebrate with me? That guy.

I am on a mission. A fitness mission. You only live once so why not be as hot as you possibly can RIGHT NOW? You will be this age one time, ever. Wouldn't you like to look back and say that you utilized your strength and energy you had "back then?" Working out and eating healthy can not only prolong your life, but it can make you a happier person altogether. I am definitely seeing a difference. (If I can put down the vodka, I'll prob. have a 6-pack in no time.) I hope that my journey can inspire at least one other person to find this same motivation. 





Food for the day:
B'fast----> Oatmeal (old fashioned oats, blueberries, light soymilk and greek yogurt.)
Snack (post workout) ----> Protein shake with light soymilk (this brand of whey protein I have tastes like licking the floor if mixed with water.)
Lunch ----> Salmon Salad (medium grilled salmon fillet, broccoli sprouts, spinach, tomatoes, cilantro, and 1oz. balsalmic vinegar.)
Snack ----> Fruit (grapes and a plum)
Dinner ----> Chicken Salad on a piece of Ezekiel bread (white meat rotisserie chicken, celery, red grapes, tiny amount of greek yogurt, and seasoning sans salt.)
Snack ----> Veggies (carrots and broccoli, raw.)
LOTS AND LOTS of water! :)

Workout of the Day, (or WOD as you Crossfit cult members call it , though this is nothing like the intensity of Crossfit.) at home:
Alternating Bicep Curls
Standing Concentration Curls
Alternating Hammer Curls
Tricep Dips
Pushups (on dumbbells)
Overhead Triceps Extension
Bent-Over Triceps Extension
A ridiculous attempt at Chin-ups (I'm up to three in a row!!!)
Note: I did 3 sets of 15 with each, other than the chin ups. Obvi.
 I do not generally do Biceps and Triceps on the same day. I felt like mixing it up.

Recent pic. Don't worry. I bought the bikini. (I would have never posted a pic like this of myself had I not been working out. Suck on that, old, fat self.)

If you want to see progress pics, and clean eating food porn, check out my instagram: PSFROMPH. 

Baseball: Why America hates its pastime.

Baseball: Why America Hates Its Pastime.

“Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks, I don't care if I never get back...”

Get back where, the ballpark? That seems to be the current outlook from many Americans who have given up on baseball as America's sport. Ask a good percentage of Southerners what our country's primary sport is and you will more than likely hear "football" as the answer. These people BLEED college football colors around here. I'm curious to see if particular Volunteer fans leak a heinous orange color when cut. As for me, I bleed Crimson. Oh, wait. That's the correct color. (See what I did there?)

Over the past few decades, baseball has somewhat slipped off the radar of many sports fans. Though there are still many devout fans out there, which continue to make this sport one of the top grossing sports in the nation, many are no longer convinced. A good chunk of the ones who are self proclaimed baseball fanatics will admit to rarely sitting through an entire game. Why is that? My argument here is that America does NOT in fact, love baseball. (Though they should!) Why has baseball become the sport that is passing time instead of being our pastime?

As one would expect, I have a combination of facts and my own conclusions regarding this topic. Here is a terrible grouping of these bullet points:

• There are FAR too many games. Americans are busier than they have ever been. The average workday no longer begins at 9am and ends at 5pm. With most parents working full time jobs, and running a full household, it is nearly impossible to catch every baseball game. If you are a fan, such as myself, you realize how true this is. If you have no idea what I mean, let me put it in simple terms. Opening Day, 2013, was officially April 1st. The last day of official season for most teams is at the end of September. This is obviously, assuming, that they do not make it to the playoffs. In which case, they could easily be adding another month, give or take, to their schedule. That is 6 months of continuous pitching, catching, hitting, and spitting. What? Most of them spit. Watch one game. It happens. Most teams have 162 games scheduled within those 6 months. 162!!!! I can barely keep up with who my two football teams play each week in the fall. It takes some serious dedication to keep up with over 160 games. Thank God for the At Bat App. Most used app on my phone, I imagine. I like that it has the GameDay option, but it seems to be delayed and you’re stuck watching a digitalized version of the game, without actual live game coverage.

• Visibility of these many games. One thing that pisses me off the most during baseball season is not being able to watch the freaking games!!! "Oh, you should look into getting the MLB package so you can watch all the games!” THIS IS A BASEBALL WIVES TALE. There is no such way to see the games because of all the blackouts!!! Will someone explain to me what justifies their blackout restrictions? For example, are you aware that ALL of the Toronto Blue Jays live games are blacked out for the ENTIRE country of Canada? Excuse me?? Oh, you don’t actually want fans from Canada? That makes a lot of sense. Major League Baseball is a business. They are selling a product. Ticket sales may only be a part of the revenue accrued for each team, but it is a substantial part of the overall money which allows a team to operate. Teams, who have a larger viewing area and fan base, generally have a higher net profit at the end of the season. If they could find a way for the closest audience to view and cheer for the games, wouldn't that actually help revenue increase? Perhaps I am wrong but the blackouts aren’t helping anything, financially. I won’t even go into the revenue sharing.

I currently reside in Nashville. The closest MLB teams to my house are both the Atlanta Braves and the Cincinnati Reds. These teams are both about 4, 4 1/2 hours driving distance. However, due to the placement of blackouts, I am able to watch almost every Braves game but not even half the season of Reds games. Hard to get into a team when you can't even watch them play. In case you missed it, the MLB package still means you are blacked out. No ifs, ands or buts. The actual MLB network is somewhat worth watching at times. For you football fans, it is similar to NFL RedZone, only less exciting. You can see highlights of the important parts of all games being played at the current moment. It is easy to have a love/hate relationship with this channel though because if you are in fact under blackout restrictions, you may get some coverage of your game on this channel, only to be switched to another game right when you start to get excited.

• It is expensive!! I realize the first argument here is because of baseball salaries. I am aware that they are some of the highest paid athletes. I will try and stay somewhat unbiased about this part, but I can only be partially turned down. You can't mute me, so hear me out. One of my closest friends in the world is a baseball player. He gets paid a lot of money. He also works harder than anyone I have ever met. Not to mention, they are taxed a ‘heart attack amount’ of money due to their tax bracket. Obviously he works a minimum of over 160 days, almost in a row, but there is so much more than that. Don't forget that most players train in the off season, and then there is spring training. This gives baseball players about 2-3 months, max, to spend time with their families and loved ones. These people eat, drink, sleep, baseball. In fact, if you go into this profession, consider a "normal" life to be a thing of the past. I cannot comprehend how they have normal relationships. These people work for their money. Trust me.

Addendum to this point: Fans are not usually made of money. I, like many Americans, cannot afford to go to a ton of games. From my house, an average fan would have to pay for transportation, ticket (average Friday night price for a home game, with decent seats, are about $65,) concessions, and don't get me started on the beer. A semi-cold domestic beer, at just about every stadium, will run you about $8 or $9 for around 16 ounces. I still buy them. A baseball game without a beer just doesn't seem American. But, I will continue to complain! Simple Googling can show anyone how much a keg of this beer is sold to a park, at wholesale cost, so the markup is pretty ridiculous.

• ·         Gambling. We can all sit here and act like this isn’t a big deal but Vegas isn’t a popular getaway destination because of Wayne Newton. Americans love to gamble. I read an article recently that said, “If baseball used to be America’s pastime, it has been replaced with gambling.” I wouldn’t go that far but you may see where I am going with this. How many people put money on the line for a baseball game, outside of the postseason? That’s because it is unlike sports, such as football and basketball, in that there is no point spread. And the over/under is basically a joke. You can actually look up “how to bet on baseball” because so many people don’t even know where to begin, other than my team vs. your team final score. For the majority of my heavily testosterone filled friends, if baseball were made easier or more exciting to gamble upon, you’d have a more attentive audience.

• ·         Baseball drags. Many non-fans complain that there is too much down time in the game. This baffles me since you can watch an entire soccer game and see only one team score once, but whatever. The average baseball game these days is around 3 hours. That is because batters take longer at bat, pitchers take longer between pitches, and as I have stated before, this is a business. Baseball is an advertiser’s wet-dream. Plenty of viewers, and unlimited ad space. For some of the bigger rivalries, such as the Red Sox/Yankees games, they have recorded over 4.5 million viewers during regular season. There are what, 8 million commercials during a baseball game? It seems that way, sometimes.

With these things being listed, I can see why an everyday Joe may have a problem having a marriage with baseball. However, I think it's time for Joe to have an affair. (A sports affair that is, obviously.) There are still plenty of reasons to visit your neighborhood ballpark! Here are 10 of my own:

1. A hotdog at a ballpark is just better for some reason. Extra juicy fat injection? No idea. Just tastier. And what place, other than a Logan’s Roadhouse, can you eat peanuts and throw the shells everywhere? The kid in me is still a fan of making messes I don't have to clean up. There is a guy at my favorite ballpark who screams “Get my salty nuts! Salty nuts right here!” so loudly throughout the game that he tends to have no voice by the 7^th inning stretch. That’s just plain funny.

2. A new season is a new beginning. It doesn't matter how bad someone bats the year before or what a pitchers ERA was. April first brings a new start to every ball player and the stats begin again at 0. You can watch a pitcher have a pretty good season, and then the next watch him hit bad-ass status and pitch a no-hitter. You don’t get to see your neighbor hit a career milestone in his cubicle but you can watch a baseball player set a world record during an average game. And, boy, is it something to behold.

3. Fans. I have serious issues with this one. It is one of my least favorite aspects of the sport, but also one of my favorites. Baseball fans can be some of the worst fans of any sport. They are the first to be self proclaimed umpires. Just because that wasn't a 10 pitch inning or a player didn't hit a homerun, you can't be shouting "take him out!!!" at the top of your lungs. Oh, you're pissed off because one of their leadoff hitters aren't having the best couple games? You get out there and swing a bat at a 97mph ball the size of an orange. Go ahead.

Fans are also what keeps this sport alive! I was able to attend Opening Day at a ballpark last year and it was insane! Team colors flooded the streets! It was like a Mardi Gras parade, sans beads, urine smell, and masks. Fans save money and drive all over the country to see their team play, even if they're not having a great season. Fans get married at the ballpark. Yes. This actually happens. Spring training parks, even. To each their own! Fans name their children after players. That is lifelong dedication. 18 years of dedication, anyway.

4. Knowledge. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to follow baseball. The basics are pretty simple. Sometimes it may seem like a game can "drag," but there is still plenty of excitement in this time old tradition.

5. Variables. There are a lot of, "If X happens, then we are going to the playoffs!" or "If X hits this ball, it will be his Yth grandslam!"Yth? That's a thing, right?

6. Baseball pants. I know some of you female readers were waiting for this one. Sorry, straight guys, this obviously does not apply to you. Though the pant has changed quite a bit since the founding in the late 1800's, there is something to be said for this part of the game. You don't have to be a "cleat chaser" to appreciate a good pair of tightish baseball pants. 

7. You never know. This is not one of those sports where you just know it's over when the score runs up and the other team looks worn out. I have watched teams come back from being many runs behind, and win in the bottom of the 9th. It’s something amazing to behold. I celebrated with my TV like I was there, with the team. In 2001, the Cleveland Indians came back from a deficit of 12, to tie it up in the last three innings, winning the game in the 11th inning, against the Mariners. Tell me this sport is boring. 

8. Mascots. If you don't know, Google. Mascots are hilarious. Most of them have nothing to do with the team. The Tampa Bay Ray's mascot is "Raymond." Is he a devil ray? No. He is seadog, according to the Tampa Bay website. Huh?? The Red Sox have “Wally the Green Monster.” I’m sorry, what? Yeah, they named him after the 37 foot green wall in the outfield. A bit of a stretch, Boston? I think so. Children love them at the games, and if you’re paying attention, they are usually up to embarrassing themselves. Carry on, mascots. Carry on.

9. For the same reason that some people are uninterested in baseball, it can be a huge plus. 162 games means you can watch your favorite team play almost every day during regular season! If you have a favorite pitcher, you can see them at least once a week, generally. Like my mom said, "there is just something about a baseball game on a hot summer night." If you move away from your favorite team, chances are, they are travelling to a city near you at some point during the season. 

10. Last, but not least...Winning. Though there are plenty of fans who endure season after season of losing or mediocrity, (insert Cubs joke here), there is nothing quite like watching your team have a winning season. 

After considering the pros and cons of baseball, I hope that America never loses interest in such a great sport. I am really craving a Bud Light, a hot dog, and a game right about now. I'm sure there's one on tv, somewhere.